1) Set up a driving test, similar to the HGV 2 one for caravan drivers. After all , a lot of these vans are of equal size to HGV, SO WHY NOT MAKE THEM PASS A SIMILAR TEST . HGV drivers don't hold us up ,and are at the mercy of these holiday idiots, so let's get them up to standard .
2) Set police /HA patrols to pull over caravans with more than two cars behind.
3) Check out said caravans for any infringements of any laws, with a requirement to make good any infringements before passing a test to be allowed on the highway .

I loved where they were putting Ken once he stepped down as mayor.

Out of Paul's list I'd personally like to have 4, 11, 16 and 17 as first preference. If I were a dictator, I would create my own country with its own unique motorway network and quirky GSJs; as well as building an impenetrable wall topped with barbed wire around inner London and St Pauls Cray.

Why only St Pauls Cray. I would include both of the Cray Twins and fence off St Marys as well

The problem with grade separating Gypsy Corner is what to do about the constriction to 2 lanes between there and Savoy Circus.

Also, if the mainline dives under the A4000, would that mean send it really far done to go under the GWML rather than over the top as it currently does with its shiny new bridges.

I'm not sure what the answer is but I remember seeing maps showing grade separation of the whole stretch between the erstwhile A40(M) Westway and the north circular at Hangar Lane as under construction before it was plugholed at the very last minute, so they must have come up with a solution.

Here's a look at part grade separation. The mainline is sent under the West side of that gyratory thing. I sure would have appreciated that when I was living in the building just by North Acton tube station. You can see in the orange shading where the devastation will be. It's quite moderate in this part.

After, this the mainline rises up to meet the other side at grade. That might not be enough space though for this to happen. One or both sides of the gyratory might have to be shifted slightly. The reason I left it like this is that I'm struggling to figure out a decent way of providing the other movements. Those railways will delay merging for quite some distance to the point that we get too close to Savoy circus.

The solution might be a double deck structure. The mainline will need to dive under the railway lines and remain below grade until after Savoy Circus. The existing carriageway remains as a service road between Gypsy Corner and Savoy Circus. East of Savoy Circus, the existing carriageways are shunted to the side to make way for the reemergence of the mainline and merging occurs within pants crapping distance of the elevated section.

. . flatten all speed humps.
Remove all 20mph limits outside the times that are relevant. School holidays etc.

How does this:

...fit with this?

Either you want cycle lanes or you don't.

I'd like to remove the restriction on motorsport on public roads, as Nigel Mansell was meeting with the government about a while back

1. Have shot at dawn the organisers of the Cornwall County Show, for allowing it's Saturday to be staged on the date of the return home from the school spring half term, delayed for the Jubilee celebrations. People were phoning up saying they had moved 20 miles in 2 hours on the A30 to Indian Queens.

2. Dual the Temple Gap on the A30. This would be completed in six months. Slackers on the project to be shot.

3. Setup prison chain gangs to plough through big construction projects. All my least favourite groups of people to be sent down.

4. Tunnel under Stonehenge and the Blackdown Hills on the A303. (I might be dictator but I don't want the countryside ripped up any more than it is.) Dual the remaining gaps.

5. Build a cover for the M3 at Twyford Down and put the soil back on top.

6. Let children have up to two weeks off school in term time for holidays with no comment allowed. As it used to be when I was at school.

7. Scrap all speed limits, speed cameras, humps, chicanes, vehicle activated signs etc. However, I will not be condoning drivers doing 60 mph in built up areas. Boy racers to be sent to the prison gangs in 3. Instead everyone to be taught road safety from an early age from so that they can make their own reasonable judgements. Refresher courses will be provided for cyclists, pedestrians and drivers in later life.

7. Stop the construction work on Junction 29 of the M5. Make it free flow properly.

8. Parking restrictions to be removed completely, except where necessary to keep traffic flowing. All private car parks to be seized and the owners thereof to be sent to 3. It will be illegal to charge for parking in any circumstances.

9. At grade pedestrian crossings removed where possible and bridges and underpasses be restored. People are scared of using them? Snipers to patrol the tunnels to deal with vagrants, drunks and potential rapists.

Those motorist liberation front wusses will have nothing on me.

I can go one better.

All other road users to be banned whenever I want to go somewhere. Non-compliance will result in a 500 year sentence to be served in a 1960s style Butlins.

I think Kim Jong-un got there before you

B*gg*r that*. My wife doesn't get to take two weeks off teaching the little sod^H^H^Hdarlings just so that we can get off-peak holiday rates!

* - unless they're going directly into the chain gangs you mentioned earlier...

Don't we have these pie-in-the-sky flying-pig "If you had £1gajillion what would you do?" threads every other week?

This one is better. Those others are constrained by common decency and having to go through x years planning and approval phases; even with unlimited budget.

In this fantasy you can just do what is necessary to get things done. Like in China. Who have the worlds fastest growing economy.

hmmm

Well in that case I would build HS2 and HS3 London to Dublin line.

In regards to roads:

1) Rebuild the M6 between J10a and 4a, make it D4M throughout and divert it through Walsall

2) Build the Western Orbital and run it through the houses of everyone that moaned about it during the 80's/90's.

3) Upgrade the A50 and A500 to Motorway standard, improve the A500(M)'s junction(s) with the M6.

4) As Dictator I would increase the toll on the M6moneybags by 500% so only I and all my Saudi prince friends can use it! (Or make it free, but then I wouldn't be a good evil dictator that way!)

5) De-restrict the speed limits on all motorways (excluding some urban motorways, although I'm sure that barroling through the M8 at 100+ would be, err, interesting!)

All this whilst I rig the Premier League so that, not only Wolves are back in the Premiership, but they win every game and become champions for life!

Multiraider2 thinks along very similar lines to myself. 4,5,7,8,and 9 are exactly what I would do. He may agree with scrapping all tolls as well. Also...
Reverse all anti car policies.
1. Put back GSJ's in Birmingham and other places.
2. Build back in all the build out bus stops and, provide laybys for all the bus stops that have never had them.
3. Restore D2 where it has been hatched out. If it was done at a dangerous junction, GS it.
4 Abolish all A and B road rbts outside urban areas.
5.Abolish all rbt signalisation. Freeflow the busiest junctions. Punish those who live in the way.
6. All A and B road T junctions to have right turn lanes, with islands and left turn deceleration lanes.
7 Lorries allowed to do 50 on S2's
8 Reopen some of the closed railways, like all of Waverley, Great Central, S&D, North Cornwall, Ringwood loop and, many others.
Where a road has been built along an old rail route, road to be moved to one side or, put on a viaduct overhead. Those who live in houses in the way of rail or road projects, to be housed in Tent Cities. They will emerge whenever a train is due, to stand and salute it.
Now for the crazy stuff....

All online motorways to be changed legally back to A roads and all previous laybys, garages, cafes and GSJ's to be reinstated. They will still be D3 with hard shoulders.

M5 to be changed to A38 and sections between towns closed, so that it alternated between D3 bypasses and existing rural WS2 or S3.
M3 to be closed and A30 returned to its 1971 condition, but, with no rbts or traffic lights in Camberley or Basingstoke. Underpass at Sunningdale level crossing.

Also.... frothing now.... men in white coats at door.

Reopen rural railways lines so that towns and airports are connected to the network, all freight to be moved to rail wherever possible with capacity improvements where necessary, to remove endless HGVs. Electrify all intercity lines. Build high speed rail in Scotland, so that you can get from Inverness/Aberdeen to Glasgow/Edinburgh faster than road, and down to English cities fast enough to compete properly with short haul flights.

Mass transit systems for all cities. Trams, suburban rail etc, all electrified to remove the need for fossil fuels. Get rid of buses wherever possible. They are noisy, smelly and clog up everything.

Build modern, safe nuclear power stations to power all this. Remove the inefficient, non carbon neutral (it takes a lot of fossil fuel to manufacture them) wind turbines ruining the landscape in rural areas.

Nationalise the delivery network, removing duplicate delivery vans through towns/cities. Far too many of them.

We still need to drive however so:

M9 Stirling - Broxden, including grade separation
A9 Dualling
M96 Inverness - Aberdeen
M90 AWPR - Edinburgh including new Dundee bypass
M1 Edinburgh - Hook moor, including better bypass of Newcastle/Gateshead
M8 to replace A720, fix junction priorities and sherrifhall, freeflow to M1 at other end
A66 dualling & grade separation
M702 or M7 Edinburgh - M6
Do something about that numbering anomoly in SW scotland...
M44 Birmingham Orbital stealing existing roads in M60 style (M42, M6 Toll), and new build west orbital. Snappy numbering takes precedence over zonal bureaucracy.
A30 dualled to Penzance
M62 relief road
A6(M)/A555 - M56
A556(M)
Build the South Circular in London, in some futuristic acceptable way costing lots of money.
Fix all terrible motorway/motorway interchanges. Simister, Catthorpe - I'm looking at you....
A14 to motorway

Think thats enough to be getting started with

Matt thinks similar to what I think - get some railway improvements sorted, especially Oxford to Cambridge so when I visit Norwich I don't have to go through London!

After that:
A14 to motorway standard, and finally sort out Catthorpe.
M62 bypass motorway parallel to M60.
M25 bypass motorway around j16 to j12 ish.
Extend A329(M) through to M25 to provide an express route from the M4 to the southern M25. Anything in the way will be remembered by a memorial plaque.
A11 to motorway standard, renumber M11 north of A11 turn-off to something obscure like M110 or something...
M74 to be renumbered M6.
All bad junctions on CBRD to be prioritised for rebuilding!
AWPR to be built.
Tunnel underneath / nearby Stonehenge.
Newport bypass for the M4.
M6 toll to be removed

Think that'll do for now!

Despite all these great suggestions, the majority of them will still leave the M1 and M6 in an awful state every evening.