Jokes

Paul "A38" Berry
Stop me if you've heard this before...

The M25 and the M6 are in the pub having a pint together and they are discussing who is the hardest, toughest motorway out of the two of them. The discussion soon degenerates into an argument.
"Well, I am obviously the hardest", says the M6, "I have hundreds of thousands of cars on me everyday and I go on for miles and miles."
"Thatıs nothing," replies the M25, "Everyday I have hundreds and thousands of cars parked on me everyday and I handle it like it was nothing."
Just as he said that, Red Tarmac walks into the pub. The M6 runs off and hides under a table. The M25 looks on, a little confused.
Red Tarmac stands at the bar and orders himself a pint. He swiftly drinks his pint and leaves. Once he has left M6 comes out from under the table.
"What was all that about?" asks the M25, "I though you were supposed to be a really hard motorway."
"I am" replies the M6, "But he's a cycle-path!"

Guy "highly embarrassed" Barry
I only know one roads joke, and it's pretty awful.

Two drunks are staggering home down the road late at night, and suddenly one of them notices the cat's-eyes shining out. "Hey John! D'you see those diamonds in the middle of the road there?"
The other stares for a minute and says "Must be a jewel carriageway."

Steven "Surreal" Jukes
Thankfully the only attempt so far at a true 'odology' joke.

When is a spur not a spur?
When it's got space for a future flyover!

That's funny, it's gone all quiet in here...

Monty Python
Opening scene from the Minehead By-Election sketch.

Landlady: Hello, Mr and Mrs Johnson?
Mr Johnson: Yes, that's right. Yes.
Landlady: Oh, come on in. Excuse me not shaking hands, I've just been putting a bit of lard on the cat's boils.
Johnson: Thank you.
Landlady: Oh, you must be tired. It's a long way from Coventry, isn't it?
Johnson: Well, we usually reckon on five and a half hours and it took us six hours and 53 minutes, with the 25 minute stop at Frampton Cottrell to stretch our legs; and we had to wait half an hour to get onto the M5 at Droitwich.
Landlady: Really?
Johnson: Then there was a three mile queue just before Bridgewater on the A38. We usually come round on the B3339, you see, just before Bridgewater.
Landlady: Yeah. Really?
Johnson: We decided to risk it 'cause they always say they're going to widen it there. Yes, well just by the intersection there where the A372 joins up. There's plenty of room to widen it there, there's only grass verges. They could get another six feet, knock down that hospital. Then we took the coast road through Williton - we got all the Taunton traffic on the A358 from Crowcombe and Stogumber.