This year's adventure was intended to be another drive down the full length of Italy; having made it to the heel and back last year, I wanted this year to drive to the toe. However, the expense of buying a new house a few months ago - and the resultant assault on my finances - led me to abandon this plan, and have a cheap holiday (i.e. a return ferry ticket and a couple of tanks of fuel) in my parents' house in Brittany instead. There was just one problem with this sensible plan: France is not Italy, and I find it hard to be on the same piece of land as my favourite country without driving there. So, having driven the length of Italy last time, this time I resolved to drive the width of it at the widest point (which isn't really very far). And I decided that I might as well factor in a few other countries as well.
Jessica flew to Leeds, and we drove down to Harwich the same day. Thanks to Stenaline, we took the overnight ferry to the Hook of Holland. This was a very pleasant crossing, but disembarkation was a much less enjoyable experience, as the surprisingly slow Dutch border police took an hour to process the queue of traffic as far as us; I'd imagine the last people off the boat would have been waiting for over two hours! I don't think I'll go that way again.
What was particularly annoying about it was the fact that I'd decided to break our journey to Italy with an overnight stop in Liechtenstein, meaning that we had quite a distance to cover before bedtime. I'm not particularly good at thinking (or caring) about distances, but was something like 600 miles, using (NL)A12-(D)A3-A7-A96-(A)A14-190-191. We were finally released onto the roads of the Netherlands - where I hadn't been for over 20 years - at around 9am. Thankfully, it was Sunday, so we were able to make good progress, and we felt confident enough to make an early stop for an early lunch: a couple of Italian-style wraps (
spianate). I went for salmon while Jess had the chicken. We were both very impressed by the friendliness and helpfulness of the staff in the Dutch service area. I would have taken a photo of them (the wraps, not the staff) but this is probably of greater sabristic interest.
We crossed the border into Germany at around 11am, and that was where the journey changed. I had been relishing the prospect of driving on a road with no speed limits, but the conditions did not allow me much fun. To begin with, it started to rain. This became heavy as we headed south-eastward, and I was surprised at how many German drivers didn't seem to care about the spray or standing water. Soon enough, we passed a massive smash that had caused an emergency helicopter to be landed on the opposite carriageway, and several wrecked cars surrounded by a dozen emergency vehicles. Jess said it looked very grave (I don't look), and the traffic on the other side was queued up to the next exit, where it was being directed off.
That made for a rather grim start to our trip, and I have to say that after the rain eased off I was quite disappointed by the standard of German driving. Previously, I have only driven along the Rhine on the A5, which was a very civilised experience. The A3 through the Westphalian conurbation was much the opposite; I like to cruise at 90mph, but traffic was heavy and I rarely found myself in the outside lane, where a great many drivers seemed to enjoy tailgating each other at speeds well over 100. The worst thing I saw was a pair of drivers in chavved-up Audis disputing ownership of the outside lane at what I'd estimate to be around 120; I don't like to stereotype people, but when people behave like stereotypes it is difficult to avoid it. These two idiots were totally wreckless, Herr WeißAudi chasing Herr SchwartzAudi at few yards' distance and threatening to undertake, whereupon the lead driver gave his rival a brake test. I've seen a lot of dreadful driving in Britain, but rarely anything so deliberately dangerous, and never anything at that speed.
Things improved considerably after we'd passed Frankfurt, with its airport that appears to straddle the
Autobahn, and where you can see planes queued up in descent which look almost like they'll be landing on the same strip of tarmac as the traffic. Impressive stuff.
We had a few short stops in German service areas - some much nicer than others - before joining the A7 for the South. Here I gained the best impression of how the architects of the
Autobahn network conceived the whole projectin the 1930s. I've spent much of my career teaching the history of Nazi Germany, and it was a deliberate policy of Hitler to have to
Autobahnen carved through some of Germany's most beautiful countryside in order to try to instil a love of the
Heimat (the homeland) into the minds of new generations of Germans, newly mobilised by the KdF Wagen (better known to us as the Beetle). The A7 did a good job of showing us how attractive southern Germany is, as we feel encouraged to spend more time in the country in future.
As the traffic thinned out, and with the weather now fine, I was able to crack a perfectly legal 110mph out of my 13-year-old Rover 75. We reached the A96 in good time, only I missed the exit thanks to some awkwardly-positioned traffic cones in a slip road (prompting a split second decision to attempt to make the exit or continue straight ahead and return to the A7). I turned back at the next exit, picked up the A96, and headed towards the Alps.
The rain returned, and while I eased off, many Germans did not. At more leisurely pace, we reached the Austrian border. I'd never been to Austria before, and I didn't realise their
Autobahnen are tolled! The warnings caused me to turn off at the border and follow the ordinary roads down past the Bodensee to Feldkirch, whereupon we turned towards Liechtenstein and reached our hotel at around 10pm. It was only when we woke the following morning that we found out how beautiful Liechtenstein happens to be.